I’m one of those people who feel like they have to please everyone. I need to do everything in my power to ensure that the people around me are happy. It’s not that I want to make them happy, it’s like I have to. I feel like a disappointment when I can’t make someone happy. Like I ruined everything and I should’ve made a different decision. I try to make my mom happy and do everything she asks. I try to make my dad happy and go see him all the time and make him feel like he has someone to lean on. I try to make Jordan happy and make him feel good and remind him how great and important he is to me. I don’t try to make me happy. I mean, sure, in turn making my dad and Jordan happy, makes me happy. They appreciate it. They don’t take it for granted. Then there’s my mom. I do everything I can to make sure there are no problems between us and that I spend an adequate amount of time with her, but it doesn’t matter. I ask her for a simple favor so I can make everyone happy for spring break, and she makes it all about her. It’s the worst thing she could ever do to me. Making me choose one person to please over another. It’s not that big of a deal I guess, not to other people, especially considering I’m insane and I can never think logically when I’m stressed out. And this is why people take advantage of how pathetic I am. Seems like the majority of people I’ve had in my life have taken advantage of me and I’m sick of it. I wish I could change. But honestly, change would mean disappointing people at some point, and that’s my biggest fear.
